Micah Zenko

Politics, Power, and Preventive Action

Zenko covers the U.S. national security debate and offers insight on developments in international security and conflict prevention.

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The Onion on Drones: The Top Ten

by Micah Zenko
January 14, 2013

After releasing last week’s report on Reforming U.S. Drone Strike Policies, we have been cleaning out the files. Along with our favorite drone cartoons, we have also kept a file of drone-related pieces from the Onion. See below for the top ten (in no particular order).

  1.  Could The Use Of Flying Death Robots Be Hurting America’s Reputation Worldwide?
  2.  Pakistani Boy, U.S. Drone Form Unlikely Friendship
  3.  Spy Drone Struggling to Assimilate Back Into Civilian Life
  4.  Obama Takes Out Romney With Mid-Debate Drone Attack
  5.  Congress Clears U.S. Airspace For More Drones
  6.  Eighty Percent Of Al-Qaeda No. 2s Now Dead
  7.  Military Releases Drone’s Suicide Note
  8. Commanding General In Afghanistan Has No Idea How War Is Going, Just Trying To Ignore It At This Point
  9. Pakistani Intelligence Announces Its Full Cooperation With U.S. Forces During Upcoming Top Secret June 12 Drone Strike On Al-Qaeda At 5:23 A.M. Near Small Town Of Razmani In North Waziristan
  10. Al-Qaeda: Latest Missile Attack Bears Hallmarks Of U.S. Military

 

 

Post a Comment 3 Comments

  • Posted by Phillip Bolster

    haha I love the boy/drone relationship one… awww Drones are just hilarious… I heard this funny one the other day too… what was it?…. yeah goes a little something like this….

    ‘ the proper international legal rationale for targeted killing is self-­defense, not that the target is a combatant under IHL ‘

    Ken Anderson, comedian

    http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2169089

    Pre-emptive assassination by remote control planes operated from 7000 miles away by an ‘out of control’ agency who will not talk about this hilarious killing to the people it is supposed to be serving democratically… now that’s some funny sh1t right there!

    I get a feeling Brennan’s going to come out with some classic drone one liners as well this year… can’t wait… it’s all so funny.

    I hope they do like a coffee table 101 best drone jokes edition next Christmas with hilarious photos like the ones below to give us all a good laugh while we watch CNN misreport on this hilariously inept foreign policy of mass murder from our lovely warm drawing rooms.

    http://www.google.ie/search?hl=en&rlz=1C1DVCJ_en&q=drone+deaths+photos&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.1357700187,d.ZG4&biw=1024&bih=673&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=4j70UI-hD4PQhAfrm4CoCg#um=1&hl=en&tbo=d&rlz=1C1DVCJ_en&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=drone+strike+children&oq=drone+strike+children&gs_l=img.3..0i24l2.4417.5701.4.6316.7.2.0.5.5.0.137.174.1j1.2.0…0.0…1c.1.mHwgbRgImCA&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&fp=325f6fcca6368f3b&biw=1024&bih=673

  • Posted by rosemarie jackowski

    The Right of the People to Petition Their Government

    I want everyone to know about a new petition on We the People,
    a new feature on WhiteHouse.gov, and ask for your support. Will you add your
    name to mine? If this petition gets 25,000 signatures by January 31, 2013,
    the White House will review it and respond!

    This is a National, an International, and a local issue.

    Please sign, put it on Facebook and Twitter. Time is running out.

    If the petition gets enough support, the Obama Administration will issue an official response.

    You can view and sign the petition here:

    http://wh.gov/UKpQ

    Below is the petition.

    *End the DRONES…Stop the killing of children and innocent
    civilians.*

    The USA has Drone bases in many areas in and out of the US. There is
    probably a Drone base near you. One is located in New York, near Syracuse.
    The Hancock Drone Base must be shut down. Children are being killed in
    Afghanistan and Yemen from bases close to us. This is a war crime and a
    crime against humanity.

    All Drone Bases must be shut down immediately.

    The world will be a better place when we love the children in Afghanistan,
    and all children, as much as we love our own.

    For more information contact:
    Rosemarie Jackowski
    dissent@sover.net

  • Posted by Cal

    The Onion is awesome. They always make light of the most serious issues, and make no mistake, the drone war is a serious issue. It’s good to laugh at the funnier sides of it however.

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